Okay then. Let's see if I can get back into doing this on something approaching a regular basis...
I'm not quite sure what led me to remember, but the other day I suddenly found myself thinking about my old chemistry teacher Mr West.
Mr West was not, in the nicest possible way, a normal man. Once a year, if you were very 'lucky', he would offer to show the class his repertoire of impressions. He didn't do people or celebrities though, he did animals and objects. The impressions were the stuff of unfortunate legend, and consequently everyone wanted to see them. One fine day, our time finally came.
The impressions session began with the locking of the classroom door. This in itself should have been something of a bad sign, but nothing prepares you for the full onslaught of Mr West's creativity.
The highlight was his impression of a cooked breakfast. He would begin by bashing himself quite hard on the head, and then convincingly 'drip' like raw egg onto the floor, where he would then pop and fizzle in his imaginary frying pan. We sat there aghast as he repeatedly thrus his groinal region into the air as the 'yolk' cooked. He would then roll around, declaring that "I am a sausage".
I don't think you'll find this kind of thing on the syllabus any more.
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