Jackanory is returning! I don't know why I should be so excited about this. I never really liked it in the first place. But just the thought that all over the country, children will be settling down for some good old fashioned story telling, gives me a lovely warm glow for some reason. Hang on, did I say old fashioned? Sorry, I'll start again...
Jackanory is returning! And this time, it's going CGI! Oh yes. Look, they've turned it into Shreck! Not like it was in my day, with rudimentary pencil drawings to stimulate the imagination, and not a lot else.
Here in the wonderful world of running charity events, we have encountered a new and terrifying problem. We're calling it Can't Be Arsed Syndrome. This is where a staggering proportion of our audince decides at the last minute that they don't want to leave the house, and would rather stay in with a glass of wine and watch Coronation Street. And this is after they've forked out £6 for a ticket! Last night was the worst ever occurrence of this strange new phenomenon. We had 170 booked in. However, the total number of bums on seats was... wait for it... 45. WHERE DID THEY ALL GO??!! People of Eastbourne, we're very disappointed with you, and somewhat shocked that you managed to waste over £700 between you! All over the office, the sound of a large amount of manure hitting a great number of fans can be heard.
Sasha Baron Cohen as Borat’s portrayal of Kazakhstan as a backward nation is, of course, entirely fictional and the nation’s leaders are right to get upset. In a completely unrelated piece of news, Kazakhstan’s central bank has had to withdraw new banknotes, because they misspelt the word ‘bank’ on them.
